Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves: on our time, our workload and our emotional availability. They are not walls, and they are not a punishment for anyone. They are what allow you to keep caring about people and your work without being worn out by it.
Emotional boundaries matter as much as practical ones. You can understand and care about how someone feels without taking responsibility for fixing it. Their feelings remain theirs.
01
Where are your boundaries weak?
Healthy boundaries are flexible. They let you get involved when it is right to, and step back when the other person needs to take responsibility for their own situation.
02
Decide your limit
Exercise
One boundary
The situation where I most need a boundary:
What I am willing to do:
What I am no longer willing to do:
What it costs me when I do not hold this boundary:
03
Plan what to say
- Acknowledge“I can see this matters and is urgent for you.”
- State the limit“I can’t take this on today without missing the deadline on X.”
- Offer what you can“I could look at it on Thursday, or help you find someone sooner.”
- Hold itSay it calmly, once. You do not need to justify it at length.
Exercise
My words
What I will say, in my own words:
Remember
When someone is disappointed by a boundary, that is not proof the boundary was wrong. You can be kind about their disappointment and still hold the line.