Dialectical behaviour therapy, developed by the psychologist Marsha Linehan, describes three states of mind. Emotion mind is driven by how we feel. Reasonable mind is driven by facts and logic. Wise mind is where the two overlap: we know how we feel, we know the facts, and we can choose what to do.
At work, emotion mind sends the reply you regret. Reasonable mind pushes through and ignores the signs that something is wrong. Wise mind does neither.
01
Three states of mind
| What it is like | How it can sound at work | |
|---|---|---|
| Emotion mind | Feelings are in charge. Hot, urgent, hard to think past. | “I’m replying to that email right now.” |
| Reasonable mind | Facts and logic in charge, feelings pushed aside. | “It doesn’t matter that I’m exhausted. Just get it done.” |
| Wise mind | Both are present. You know what you feel and what is true. | “I’m angry about this, and I know what matters. I’ll respond tomorrow.” |
02
Finding wise mind
- PauseStop before acting. Breathe out slowly.
- The emotionWhat am I feeling, and how strongly?
- The factsWhat do I actually know? What am I assuming?
- Wise mindTaking both into account, what is the wise thing to do?
Try it on a decision or situation at work.
| Emotion mind says | Reasonable mind says | Wise mind says |
|---|---|---|
Exercise
Reflect
Which mind do I get stuck in under pressure?
A time I acted from wise mind at work. What helped?